This is an installment of a series of posts on BDSM. The first post can be found here.
The focus this week is on bondage play. Bondage is a physical restraining. This may mean total bondage or just a part of one’s body, such as breasts or balls…or even toes. As the materials and degrees of severity are varied, it is important to understand the possible risks of various bondage practices. This post is meant as a deeper overview of the subject, not a total guide. Before participating in extreme bondage play, please research the topic more thoroughly.
Perhaps you and your partner are both new to bondage play. As you add this bit of spice to your love life, it is helpful to do a little reading before delving into the fun. Set aside the erotica and porno movies, as what you see there may not be safe or even based in reality. Instead, look for credible sources.
When engaging in bondage play, there are several rules to keep in mind:
- Have a safe word – something beyond no. This word can be used to take a break, vary the activities, or even stop the scene. The word should be one that is easy to say, but not something often said during sexual play.
- Never leaving a bound person alone. Additionally, restraints should be able to be quickly removed in case of an emergency.
- Avoid using restraints that may impair breathing. Additionally, avoid positions that may cause asphyxiation.
- To avoid circulation issues, be sure the bound subject changes positions at least once an hour.
- All participants should be completely sober; alcohol and drugs should be avoided.
You may already have items around the house that make for perfect bondage paraphilia, such as belts, ropes, and sleep masks (i.e. a blindfold). If not, there are many fantastic items available for purchase in both regular stores and specialty shops. Want a kit? How about a simple Vanilla Bondage Kit or the Fetish Fantasy Ultimate Fantasy Duffle? Looking for a sensual and soft bounding material? Try the Black Rose Silky Surrender (I have several of these, and they are great!). Perhaps you want something that is slightly beyond the basics. The Lover’s Super Strap Restraint Kit may be exactly what you are looking for.
Looking for credible sources for additional information?
- Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Hot Sex by Tymber Dalton (see my review here)
- A Submissive’s Initiative – an educational BDSM community
- The Loving Dom – The Repository – The back catalogue of educational notes relating to alternative relationships + interesting threads from The Loving Dom – The Help Page.
Next week I will continue to delve into the various aspects of BDSM. As always, remember: Safe Play is Great Play!