personal lubricant 101

There are many types of lubricant that can be used for sexual play. Many factors contribute to the need of using lubricants during sex. Some women, even though very aroused, may not produce enough natural wetness and therefore may need a little assistance from a bottle. If you are participating in any type of anal play lubricant is extremely important.

There are three main types of lubricant: water based, silicone based, and oil based. When searching for lubes, you might see some advertised as “anal lube”. These usually have a numbing agent added to lessen the pain often associated with anal intercourse.

Water based lubricants are safe to use with condoms. They are often less expensive and more easily found than other types of lubes. Unlike other lubricants, they have the added advantage of being easier to wash off the body – and less likely to stain the sheets! Water based lubes can be used with any type of toy material.

Personal lubricants
Personal lubricants (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Silicone based lubricants, unlike water based ones, are not absorbed into the skin. This means soap and water will be needed to wash off after playtime ends. They can be more expensive, but a less is needed. This type of lube is also safe to use with condoms, but avoid using with silicone toys. Want to have some playtime in the shower? Try this type of lube!

Oil based lubes, such as mineral oil, baby oil, and Vaseline, must be washed off with soap and water. You can only use oil based lubricants with polyurethane condoms. Also avoid using with toys and items made out of latex.

There are many styles of lubes available – including flavored, numbing, warming ones. Have fun experimenting with the varieties!

One note of caution: If you are trying to conceive, pay careful attention to the ingredients in the lubricant you are using. Some lubes may contain spermicides – which are very counterproductive to trying to get pregnant!

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Mood Music

There are some songs that, when heard, instantly affect the listener’s loins. Granted, the songs may vary from person to person; but some artists are known for their ability to make the listeners want to get it on, such as Barry White, with his deep, sensual voice.

Lovers In The Shadow

Perhaps the song’s subject matter is what does the trick. Maybe it is the beat. Then there are the ones that are double shots of desire to the genitals. One that does it for me, due to both the lyrics and the tempo, is Nine Inch Nails Closer. Another is the Dave Matthews

Band’s song Crash into Me.  And I would be rather remiss if I didn’t mention Marvin Gaye’s classic Let’s Get it On.

What does it for you?  Is there a song that every time you hear it you want to do the horizontal mambo with your lover? How about your partner – does she have a song that is always sure to turn her on?

Book Review: His Every Whim (BBW Billionaire Erotic Romance Novella) by Liliana Rhodes

Ashley is down on her luck and needs a job and money.  Her roommate sets her up with a job helping at a catering gig and warns her of the mysterious man who has scared off many people.  Ashley decides to take her chances and approaches him with some champagne but quickly runs off when the catering manager shows up.  The mystery man follows her and they have a steamy encounter in the backroom which has them both wanting more but still not knowing who the other is.  He leaves Ashley to recover while he runs to interference to prevent others from bothering her.   his every whim

Trying to clear her thoughts, Ashley looks at the job board at her job and sees that there is an advertisement for a house manager.  While she does not know exactly what the job entails, she is up for it as she needs a different place to live.  She calls and goes for an interview and is given the job if she wants it.  The master of the house comes up just as she is getting ready to leave and collect her belongings.  It turns out that he is the mystery man.

While Zander had wanted to find the girl, this is not how he expected to find her but he is happy and wants to see what will happen.  He advises Ashley that he expects her to also perform some administrative duties for him.  She agrees to this and wonders exactly what he means and if she is up to the challenge.

My opinion:

I enjoyed this book.  Zander is your typical billionaire, at least how they are portrayed in fiction, as he is in control and command, and knows what he wants.  Maybe someday I will meet a true billionaire to find out if this is the true way of their actions!

This book is also very size positive as you can imagine just from the genre it is.  Ashley is a size 16 and while she has body issues, Zander loves her body and her curves.  He hires a personal shopper to help Ashley with her wardrobe, and when the shopper complains about Ashley’s size, he immediately sets to work making sure that the woman will not work again.

Buy:  His Every Whim

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Book: Against the Wall by Julie Prestsater

Shelly is a teacher who has just been dumped by her boyfriend and fiancé of 10 years, Chase.   She has two best friends, Melissa and Matt.  It is no secret that Matt has a crush on   Against the Wallher but he is a coworker and she does not want to mix romance and work again, Chase is also a coworker.

Melissa encourages her to start dating again so the two of them go out on the town.    As Shelly is very particular about her beer, she decides to pick guys based on what they are drinking.  She sees a perfect drink in the perfect male hands and is surprised to discover it is her friend Matt.

While Shelly is trying to figure out how she feels about Matt by having a non-relationship with her, Melissa is dumped by her husband.  Christmas comes and Shelly’s brother Tyler comes to town and him and Melissa end up hooking up.

Opinion:

I liked the book but felt that it was quite heavy on the swearing and language.   While I get that many people do talk like that, and they may especially if they teach in high school, it could have been toned down.

I wish I could find a man like Matt.

Light on sex scenes if you are looking for a book with a lot of sex but the book does not seem appropriate for an under 18 audience.

Purchase “Against the Wall”

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Book Review: Mine for Tonight (The Billionaires Obsession) by J.S. Scott

Simon has been watching Kara for a while.  He isn’t sure how to approach her or what to do about it, but when he sees her coming home one evening, in clothing that isn’t her usual and almost passes out on the street, he doesn’t think any further.  He takes her into his home and has a doctor look at her.  Turns out she has worn herself ragged from working while   mine for tonightattending nursing school and trying to keep her head above water.  She thought she had gotten over the flu but it turns out it was just a temporary respite.  The doctor orders bed rest and time off work to recover, which Kara cannot afford.  But she is not given a choice as Simon has already called in for her (it turns out Kara works for his mom) and   he demands that she stay in bed.

He sends his assistant over to Kara’s house to retrieve what she will need for a few days but it turns out that she has been evicted.  Her roommate was taking her money but not paying the rent and had been in the proceedings of eviction for a while.  Nothing of hers was left except for a few items.  How would she be able to stay in school?  The thought of having to quit while she saved up money to return was a heavy weight on her.

Simon offers to assist her by allowing her to stay with him in his spare room.  He has a lot of room and he wants to see her rested and able to focus solely on her school work.  One condition of his is that she is not allowed to work, just focus on her school work.  While Kara does not want to accept his offer, she agrees to it.  But it turns out Simon has one more condition, one night with her.  She can pick the night.

Will Simon be able to control his wanting for Kara until she asks for the night?  Will Kara ever ask for that night?

My opinion:

I like the premise of this book but I wonder how realistic it is.  Granted, most people do not read stories like this for reality, they read them as a way to escape from reality.

Note:  Book 1 of a Series

Buy:  Mine for Tonight

Why are Guys Shy?

I don’t know if it is just me or maybe the guys out there are shy.  Many times, I will chat with a guy, and if the conversation is going well, and I am the one who has to bring up the concept of meeting.

shy
shy (Photo credit: Chris Blakeley)

Sometimes we have spoken generally about meeting up, but then, when it truly comes right down to it, it is usually me asking them.  It’s usually a “hey, wanna get coffee?” type thing not a “hey, let’s go on a date!”  But isn’t that a bit of the tables being turned as men are supposedly taught that they should be the man and they should do the asking as a result?

Lucy and I are talking about this as I am writing this post.  My comment to her is, aren’t men taught that they have to be big and strong and that they should be the man and take the initiative?    And she says yes, they are, but that may not be their true nature and that is what you are seeing when you talk to these men.

Maybe it isn’t that they don’t want to be the manly-man but they are letting me take the lead to show whether I am interested or not.  On the dating sites, the men definitely outnumber the women and maybe they think that I am just talking for the sake of talking to them and do not have any further interest in them.  They don’t realize that if I am open to chatting outside of the site, that I am interested in them, so far.  Of course, that may change once I meet them in person but obviously they have told me something that intrigues me at that point.

And let’s not get started on who pays when you meet!

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