Considering the D/s Lifestyle

English: Woman standing on submissive male.
English: Woman standing on submissive male. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I play on a variety of sites but I seem to have the most luck on Adult Friend Finder (AFF).  Maybe this is because the people there are looking to hook up so they are more willing to communicate and meet up.  i cannot remember the last time I actually met someone from any other site.  Regardless, that is for another post.

One of the things on AFF is that you can see who has viewed your profile and who has flirted with you.  And you can decide where to take things from there.  As I have Gold Status, I am able to message people.  I saw that a gentleman who is a Dominant had viewed my profile.  I was curious so I decided to flirt with him.  He has Gold Status as well so I knew that if he was interested, he would message me back.

Within about an hour, I heard back from him.  We went back and forth a few times with him asking me some questions and my providing some answers.  He asked me to text him from there to discuss the situation further.  He told me up front what he expects and then taught me to call him Master and Sir (which I knew about already) but then a few other aspects of speech such as You and Him are always capitalized if I am referring to Him.   As we continued to chat, he asked me about my hard limits which made me happy as it is shows he not just playing with this.

In the meantime, I had messaged a friend who has had some experience with this lifestyle to find out some information.  I told her a bit about our discussion as she had some concerns as to whether this was truly something he was into or if he was on a bit of a power trip due to 50 Shades of Grey.  There are many out there who say they are  Dominant but they just want to have power over a person and make them do what they want.  I showed my friend some of our conversation and she felt he would be okay but to still take all the precautions a person normally would take.

I do not have any experience as a submissive beyond what happens in a regular relationship.  There is always a power shift where sometimes the girl is in charge, sometimes the guy is.  This is something different for me.  Even referring to him as “Master” and “Sir” requires a different thought process.

I have played a bit with being a Dominant in the past but only online.  I have chatted with many guys over the years and have wanted to give up power in having someone else tell them what to do.  I have told many guys to jerk off, how to touch themselves, to use toys on themselves and a variety of other activities.

At this point, I am not sure where things are going.  On the surface, everything sounds great but when you start to actually think about it and the boundaries you may be expected to push, it becomes more real and thought provoking.  First, he required a picture of my boobs.  Not a big deal, but not something I tend to do, which made me think about what else he may want me to do that is outside my realm of comfort.

This article covers a lot of what I have learnt already but could never possibly write as succinct as the author has.

Domination and Submission: What You Can Expect as a New Submissive

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