What we wear under there

It is amazing what a difference having a new bra – one that actually fits you correctly – can make on your state of bliss. It isn’t something I have thought about often, but recently I realized just how awesome the feeling is.

Several of my bras had to be tossed. The underwire broke on a couple. The dog chewed the plastic bit that holds the straps on another. A few more were just stretched too much to keep wearing. I needed to go bra shopping STAT. Luckily a department store in my area was having a huge sale – including on bras. I didn’t know this when I walked in, but I was glad of it by the time I walked out!

The sales girl fitted me. It had been some time since I had last been fitted for a bra. I had an idea of what size I thought I was. Note that I said “thought”. It ends up my idea was quite a bit off on both circumference and cup size. Once we knew what sizes were needed, I was left – topless – in the dressing room while she pulled a variety of bras for me to try on. Since she was the only one working in the department that day, this took some time. The time I waited was well worth it, though. In the end, I walked out of the store with six new bras at a fraction of their original prices.

Having a bra that fits adds confidence and self-esteem – two feelings that help make sex more enjoyable (see what I did there…I brought it to sex). Confidence is a big turn on for most people – both the one exhibiting it and the ones watching her act with it. Plus, when the girls are boosted into the right area, you just might want to show off your new underthings to your partner. “Look at this, babe. My tits are looking great!!”

So, if it’s been some time since you last went bra shopping, I highly recommend it. It might be just the boost you’ve been searching for!

mystery spot

Prince and lady (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Gräfenberg spot – more commonly known as the G-spot, is a pleasure zone located approximately 2-3 inches on the front wall inside a woman’s vagina. While there are some who believe it is just a myth, countless women disagree.

Depending on the positions used during sex, stimulating this area can be difficult, as the G-spot area needs direct stimulation. For example, the angle of penetration during the missionary position will rarely hit the spot (pun very much intended). Experimenting with different positions will help find the perfect way to achieve orgasm through G-spot stimulation.

Luckily, there are other ways to climax from G-spot stimulation. During foreplay, you or a lover may want to try two fingers pressed deeply into the area. Alternatively, there are many toys designed specifically for this task.

For some women, the type of orgasm experienced from G-spot stimulation is more intense than those achieved from clitoral stimulation. For others, the spot might not be as sensitive and therefore not as important part of their sexual play. Not sure which category you are in? Some self-exploration will tell you if your G-spot is highly sensitive. Lay back and enjoy the exploring! Let go of frustrations and relish the touch of your body.

Not sure how to find your G-spot?  Here’s a great article with an extensive step-by-step process.  It’s worth the read!

personal lubricant 101

There are many types of lubricant that can be used for sexual play. Many factors contribute to the need of using lubricants during sex. Some women, even though very aroused, may not produce enough natural wetness and therefore may need a little assistance from a bottle. If you are participating in any type of anal play lubricant is extremely important.

There are three main types of lubricant: water based, silicone based, and oil based. When searching for lubes, you might see some advertised as “anal lube”. These usually have a numbing agent added to lessen the pain often associated with anal intercourse.

Water based lubricants are safe to use with condoms. They are often less expensive and more easily found than other types of lubes. Unlike other lubricants, they have the added advantage of being easier to wash off the body – and less likely to stain the sheets! Water based lubes can be used with any type of toy material.

Personal lubricants (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Silicone based lubricants, unlike water based ones, are not absorbed into the skin. This means soap and water will be needed to wash off after playtime ends. They can be more expensive, but a less is needed. This type of lube is also safe to use with condoms, but avoid using with silicone toys. Want to have some playtime in the shower? Try this type of lube!

Oil based lubes, such as mineral oil, baby oil, and Vaseline, must be washed off with soap and water. You can only use oil based lubricants with polyurethane condoms. Also avoid using with toys and items made out of latex.

There are many styles of lubes available – including flavored, numbing, warming ones. Have fun experimenting with the varieties!

One note of caution: If you are trying to conceive, pay careful attention to the ingredients in the lubricant you are using. Some lubes may contain spermicides – which are very counterproductive to trying to get pregnant!

Mood Music

There are some songs that, when heard, instantly affect the listener’s loins. Granted, the songs may vary from person to person; but some artists are known for their ability to make the listeners want to get it on, such as Barry White, with his deep, sensual voice.

Perhaps the song’s subject matter is what does the trick. Maybe it is the beat. Then there are the ones that are double shots of desire to the genitals. One that does it for me, due to both the lyrics and the tempo, is Nine Inch Nails Closer. Another is the Dave Matthews

Band’s song Crash into Me.  And I would be rather remiss if I didn’t mention Marvin Gaye’s classic Let’s Get it On.

What does it for you?  Is there a song that every time you hear it you want to do the horizontal mambo with your lover? How about your partner – does she have a song that is always sure to turn her on?

Take it Outside

I’m not sure about your area, but where I live we seem to have experienced about two days of spring before heading straight into summer.  As the temperature heats up outside, the hubby and I have been spending more time in the sun.  Tis the season!

There are some activities I wouldn’t mind taking outside, but, alas, we cannot. The lack of a fence and the closeness of our neighbors’ homes mean clothes must stay on when in our yard.  There is an added layer of sensuality when having sex outdoors.  There can also be a lot of nuisances that can make the experience less than fun.  Who likes feeling a rock or a stick jabbing them in back?  Or mosquitoes snacking on them?  I sure don’t!  So, like they say in Scouts – Be Prepared!

Taking a blanket to lie on during outdoor sex – or just stargazing – is a good place to start.  Keep in mind, though, that the ground might hide some sharpish objects, and grab a thicker blanket – if not two or three.  Once you decide to get frisky, you don’t want to ruin the mood with a stick attempting to get some action of its own! 

Some light is good, but not enough to call attention to the show.  A flashlight or two will suffice as you and your lover get comfortable.  Then turn off the lights and have fun to the natural light of the moon and stars.

About those pesky pests…well, you can just imagine how delicious bug spray tastes when nibbling on your lover’s skin. Yuck! I suggest investing in another type of bug deterrent, such as  an Off! Clip-On Starter Kit. (I haven’t tried it, so don’t know how well it works).

Have you had the pleasure of sex under the stars?  What tips do you have for others who are considering it?

New stories – and a freebie!!

Did you like the taste of Maid to Order that I posted last week? I hope so! Since then I have been busy writing and dreaming up more tales of Lydia and Senator Niles. In fact, over the weekend I published Maid to Order 3!

After two rough sexual encounters with her boss, Lydia wants their sexual adventures continue on a regular basis. First she must convince the state senator that his maid needs the lessons only he can teach.

So what’s next? There are a few other stories I’ve been working on, including a companion story to the Maid to Order series, called Personal Assistant, which is now available via Smashwords! It should available through Amazon soon (Amazon takes a little longer to publish, whereas Smashwords is instantaneous).

What is Personal Assistant about? In this series we will meet Vivian, personal assistant to Senator Stephen Niles. Vivian has a special set of skills that she uses to keep the senator in line. She is the one who hired Lydia.

I’m already working on the next story in the Personal Assistant series.

In celebration of publishing two new stories this week, I have a treat for you! Use this coupon code on Smashwords to get the first Maid to Order story for FREE. Hurry! The code expires on Sunday, May 17, 2014.

The coupon code is PY62S (not case-sensitive). You must enter the code prior to completing your checkout.

A little taste

How about a little peek at one of my published works? So far the Maid to Order stories have been my most popular. They are tales of very rough sex between maid Lydia and her boss Senator Stephen Niles. You can purchase the tales through Amazon or Smashwords.

This is an excerpt from the story that started it all.

He took a few steps towards where I was standing. “The shameful way you acted with the guests. It was an embarrassment – especially to me,” he growled. “I expect my employees to not behave in such a…wantonly manner.”

I took a step back, resting my backside on the edge of the sofa’s armrest. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you mean, Senator Niles. I was polite with everyone…nothing more.”

“I saw the way you were smiling at the men and practically throwing yourself at them.” He glared at me. “I cannot have someone like that in my employ.”

“Please, sir. I need this job. I’ll….I’ll do anything.” I pleaded with him, standing from my perch. Tears were threatening to leak from my eyes. I refused to cry in front of him. “Please give me another chance to prove I am a good employee.”

“Anything to keep your job? You can’t even beg for your job without sounding like a slut.” He stepped towards me. Having no way to escape his path, I stood my ground against the sofa. He grabbed ahold of my arms and brought me against his body, kissing me forcefully. His tongue split my lips apart and probed my mouth. Then he pushed me backwards and my body went over the sofa’s arm. I landed on my back, my legs in the air.

“See how much of a slut you are. You want to keep your job? Will do anything? I will show you just what anything can be.”

who’s in charge?

When Sylvie began her recent Dom/sub relationship, she mentioned it to me.  At one point she asked if I had told hubby about it.  I hadn’t yet, but later that night I brought it up during our nightly phone call.  Since then we have had several conversations about D/s relationships and play.

We enjoy D/s play, though not every time we have sex and not as a lifestyle.  It’s just not for either of us. As I said to him, I feel that I’m too dominant in my overall personality to be a sub to someone fulltime.  While I enjoy being the sub in the bedroom from time to time, I also enjoy being the Domme.  Because I’m equally comfortable in both roles, I consider myself to be a switch.

I know there are people who, like me, have very dominant personalities, but crave the submissive role.  I respect that and can understand how it would a great form of stress relief.  Some of the characters I have developed in my stories are that way.  I just know it isn’t me.  I would be too much of a brat for the situation to be enjoyable! 

Just as every person is different, every D/s relationship is different.  There are subsets of the lifestyle, ranging from those who, like hubby and me, enjoy occasional D/s play in the bedroom to those who live their D/s relationships 24/7.  Some are sexual, while others may not have any sexual activity involved.  Thanks to the internet, some D/s relationships are completely virtual, with those involved living great distances from one another.  If you can imagine it, there is likely someone who is living it.

the dry spell

Yesterday was a very crazy day. There was a mixture of good and bad.

Our furchildren had vet appointments for check-ups and vaccinations. Since the hubby had to go out of town that morning for a possible new job, I had to take them to the vet alone. All went well with the vet. When I came home with our boy, hubby was home from his errand, so we were relaxing in our sunroom and talking about our morning.

Then our boy, who is a senior, started screaming in the other room. Long story short, we think he had a seizure. I took him back to the vet while hubby cleaned up the mess our pup made during the fit. This was a new experience for all of us.

Ninety minutes and bloodwork for the pup later, we were home again. Hubby and the pups all laid down for a nap while I got ready for work. If I didn’t have a program – and a fun one at that – I would have likely stayed home with the rest of my family.

A few hours later, though, I was home again, but this time I was fighting a migraine. Hubby had completed more errands while I was working, but we all decided to nap for a little while. His excuse – he drives nights, so is use to sleeping during the day. Mine – I had a dickens of a headache.

After sleeping for a few hours, I made an Easter dinner (the day after) at nearly 9 at night. We ate at 11! My allergies were getting bad by then, since I forgot to take medication before the vet appointments that morning, and I was still fighting a headache because the temperature was dropping. High of 80 on Monday, high of 57 on Tuesday. Lovely, eh?

When we went to bed for the night, we were both exhausted, both physically and mentally, even with all the napping. It had been that kind of day.

Side note: we aren’t certain what caused our boy’s fit. There are a lot of different things that might contribute to the possible seizure. The Bloodwork didn’t show anything that would have caused it.

Now, if you are still reading, you are likely wondering what this has to do with sex. Keep reading and I will tell you.

Relationships have a natural ebb and flow. Some days might be absolutely fantastic. Other days it might seem like you are never in sync. That is perfectly normal. So is having a period of time without sex. Yes, a healthy married relationship usually includes sex. As the relationship continues to grow, sex might not occur as frequently as before.

The hubby and I have gone through dry spells. Our circumstances play a huge part. He is only home on weekends, and I often work at least one of those days. We usually pack so much into the days that he is home that often we are just too tired to get it on. Add the worry of having a sick child – even if our children are our dogs – and sex ends up being put on the backburner. Yet, even though we aren’t having sex, the intimacy in our relationship continues to grow. We are still physical – touching, holding hands, kissing, cuddling – throughout the day. In many ways, that is more important that intercourse. It keeps us connected.

One day soon, though, we will devote some time to reconnecting sexually.  All part of the fun of being in a long term commitment!

The four-legged audience issue

I’m late.

This should have been posted yesterday.  It was one of those days, though. I came home from work, grabbed a quick bite to eat with the hubby, and we decided to take a nap.    That was around 7:30.  I didn’t get up for more than 30 minutes until it was time to get ready for work today.  Oops.

It was very crowded in our bed, as per the norm.  We have two medium-sized dogs who sleep in our bed.  It doesn’t matter if we are in bed for the night or just taking a little nap, one or both of the dogs are snuggling with us.  Of course, since they both sleep in our bed, this makes for some interesting times when it comes to sex.  Thankfully we haven’t experienced any of those horror stories.  You know – the ones about a beloved pet interfering with a sexual encounter.

Our older dog seems to understand the sentence “Mommy and Daddy need alone time.”  Often even before we utter those words, he has already started huffing and puffing his displeasure and has jumped off the bed.  Back in the day he would go down to our basement as if he was trying to get as far away from us as he could, grumbling as he made his way down the stairs.  Now he just hangs out in the living room, annoyed with our antics and impatiently waiting to come back to bed.

Our younger dog doesn’t quite understand.  Sometimes she will still try to jump up on the bed.  She just wants to cuddle and sleep.  Other times she will hide under the bed, something we are a bit wary of her doing.  Lately, she is starting to leave the room, though we have to shut the door behind her so we don’t end up with an audience.

Thankfully our two are fairly well behaved – in this regard at least!  We can have our fun without an audience and unwanted participation attempts.