What we wear under there

It is amazing what a difference having a new bra – one that actually fits you correctly – can make on your state of bliss. It isn’t something I have thought about often, but recently I realized just how awesome the feeling is.

Several of my bras had to be tossed. The underwire broke on a couple. The dog chewed the plastic bit that holds the straps on another. A few more were just stretched too much to keep wearing. I needed to go bra shopping STAT. Luckily a department store in my area was having a huge sale – including on bras. I didn’t know this when I walked in, but I was glad of it by the time I walked out!

The sales girl fitted me. It had been some time since I had last been fitted for a bra. I had an idea of what size I thought I was. Note that I said “thought”. It ends up my idea was quite a bit off on both circumference and cup size. Once we knew what sizes were needed, I was left – topless – in the dressing room while she pulled a variety of bras for me to try on. Since she was the only one working in the department that day, this took some time. The time I waited was well worth it, though. In the end, I walked out of the store with six new bras at a fraction of their original prices.

Having a bra that fits adds confidence and self-esteem – two feelings that help make sex more enjoyable (see what I did there…I brought it to sex). Confidence is a big turn on for most people – both the one exhibiting it and the ones watching her act with it. Plus, when the girls are boosted into the right area, you just might want to show off your new underthings to your partner. “Look at this, babe. My tits are looking great!!”

So, if it’s been some time since you last went bra shopping, I highly recommend it. It might be just the boost you’ve been searching for!

Always Play Safe!

When it comes to being online, or in person, it’s always important to be safe and take precautions.  What you are up to and what you are doing are going to determine what you  need to do but there are a few things that you should always consider.

Henry Kirke Brown George Washington statue,Union Square in New York. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Meet Somewhere Public

A coffee shop, a restaurant, a park, whatever works.  You should always meet somewhere that is public which will prevent the other person from doing something crazy (if things go that way).

Take Your Own Transportation

Never let the other person pick you up or drive you around.   If you are driving home after and you feel like you are being followed, do not go home, go somewhere public or a police station if you are scared.

Listen to Your Gut

If you  meet someone, or they suggest something that you are not comfortable with them, do not be afraid to say no.  Worst comes to worse, they decide that they do not want anything to do with you, and really, do you want to be with someone like that?

Do’s and Don’ts

Are there certain things that you refuse to do or that you love to do?  Let your partner know.  It’s always best to tell them before you hook up so that you can avoid any discomfort and allow you to see if the two of you are compatible.

Protection

If this is someone that you are potentially going to be getting intimate with, discuss birth control.  Many men do not like condoms but they are willing to use them if it is the difference between sex or not.  Do not let a partner guilt you into not using them as they enjoy the sensations without or they perform better without.  If things go well, there is lots of time for that down the road.

No matter, is a good idea to let someone know where you are going to be and when you expect to be home.  They don’t need 100% specifics but the more they know, the better, just in case.  There has been a time or two that I have sent a friend the information about where I am going, who I am meeting, and their contact information.  You just never know (but hope you never need to use the information provided!)

 

Weird Sex Laws in the United States

1. Anniston, Alabama: If a woman loses a game of pool, it is illegal for her to settle her tab with sex.

This type of legs up missionary, called “the anvil”, allows the deepest possible penetration. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth.

3. Cottonwood, Arizona: Couples having sex in a vehicle with flat wheels will be fined. The fine will be doubled if the sex occurs in the backseat.Weird Sex Laws in the United

4. Newcastle, Wyoming: Couples are banned from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer.

5. Tremonton, Utah: No woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper. Um… discrimination, anyone?

6. Oblong, Illinois: It’s punishable by law to have sex while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

7. Bozeman, Montana: All sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown is illegal — if they’re nude.

8. Connorsville, Wisconsin: It’s against the law for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

9. Utah: Sex with an animal — unless performed for profit — is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.

10. Oxford, Ohio: It’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

11. Minnesota: It is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish

* no longer have the source for these, sorry.

Are you Kinky? Yes!

First of all, to answer this, we really need to look at what kinky means.  But when I try to search it on the Net, I get all sorts of answers as to what sexually kinky means.  Maybe we need to define vanilla first and go from

Love cuffs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

there?

A description of what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual practice. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve elements such as, BDSM, kink, or fetish activities. Usually defined as boring, plain sex. But, a vanilla lover would regard it as making-love, passionate sex.. – urbandictionary.com

I don’t know a heck of a lot of people whose entire sex life would fit into that definition.  Many of the people I know have brought some level of kink into their home and bedroom.  Whether it is a set of fuzzy cuffs or using a tie for a bit of bondage, I would imagine that many have tried something like that.  Kinky may include the use of toys in the bedroom depending on your own personal definition.

If you are someone who sees themselves in the vanilla definition but want to spice things up, the above items might be a good start.  You can buy a set of cuffs without too much embarrassment and if you do not have a tie in the house, chances are you have something else within your home that will work instead.  Use your imagine – pantyhose, a string, bungee cords – just be careful that nothing will pull too tight and harm your partner.  And you are not limited to using these things on the female in the relationship, there are many men that enjoy the use of these things on them.

A few things you can try:

• Handcuffs – Cuff the wrists, cuff the ankles, cuff a wrist to a bedpost or other object, cuff above the head
• Tie – Same as cuffs but more flexible, blindfold, use to tease your partners body
• Feather – Tease over your partners body, tickle

3 Things to Discuss Before Getting Naked

Whether you are looking to date someone or just have a play partner, there are some things that you really should discuss before you start ripping clothing off.  They  may be awkward to discuss but it important to get them out there.  If you do not like their answer, or it doesn’t jive with you, you may want to reconsider if they are the right person to get down and dirty with.

morning .05 (Photo credit: pipe.martínez)

Tested

When were they last tested for STDS?  Have they had partners since then?  Personally, I’ve never asked for proof of this from the doctor but I am sure some people have.  Even if you are using condoms, if you are engaging in any type of oral sex, this is relevant.  Unless you plan to use dental dams and other equipment to avoid direct contact.

Birth Control

Another important discussion.  If neither of you has any plans to have children with each other, or at this time, birth control is a must.  Never believe a guy who says he cannot have children (I know a lady whose guy told her this, guess what?  she got pregnant).  If he says he has a vasectomy, you may want to have a dr’s note before you agree to no condoms.  Regardless, you should use them for the first while due to disease. I am a firm advocate of the woman being on some form of birth control as well.  The form may be discussed as not all methods are as fool proof as others.

Pregnancy

What will happen if the female gets pregnant?  This may not be a first night discussion but if you are going to remove a type of birth control (ie condoms) and only rely on one or none, it is likely a good discussion to have.   Even if neither of you are looking to have children, accidents can happen and it doesn’t hurt to know the other person’s opinions before it happens.

The four-legged audience issue

I’m late.

This should have been posted yesterday.  It was one of those days, though. I came home from work, grabbed a quick bite to eat with the hubby, and we decided to take a nap.    That was around 7:30.  I didn’t get up for more than 30 minutes until it was time to get ready for work today.  Oops.

It was very crowded in our bed, as per the norm.  We have two medium-sized dogs who sleep in our bed.  It doesn’t matter if we are in bed for the night or just taking a little nap, one or both of the dogs are snuggling with us.  Of course, since they both sleep in our bed, this makes for some interesting times when it comes to sex.  Thankfully we haven’t experienced any of those horror stories.  You know – the ones about a beloved pet interfering with a sexual encounter.

Our older dog seems to understand the sentence “Mommy and Daddy need alone time.”  Often even before we utter those words, he has already started huffing and puffing his displeasure and has jumped off the bed.  Back in the day he would go down to our basement as if he was trying to get as far away from us as he could, grumbling as he made his way down the stairs.  Now he just hangs out in the living room, annoyed with our antics and impatiently waiting to come back to bed.

Our younger dog doesn’t quite understand.  Sometimes she will still try to jump up on the bed.  She just wants to cuddle and sleep.  Other times she will hide under the bed, something we are a bit wary of her doing.  Lately, she is starting to leave the room, though we have to shut the door behind her so we don’t end up with an audience.

Thankfully our two are fairly well behaved – in this regard at least!  We can have our fun without an audience and unwanted participation attempts.

I Pee a Little When I Cough

Bladder Campion (Photo credit: Inkysloth)

Yep, I said it.  I pee a little when I cough or sneeze.  Sometimes, I am wearing a liner so it’s not a big deal but other times, I’m not and then it’s more of an issue.  But why is this?  It’s actually something that both Lucy and I have mentioned recently so I decided to look into why this might be and what a person can do.  And why not turn it into a post at the same time, as I know we are not the only ones who have this issue.

Starting my search, I find a lot of pregnancy boards or questions from women who have children.  That’s all fine and dandy, it makes more sense when all those muscles have been stretched out  But what about someone like Lucy and I who have not had children and are in our mid 30’s?  I have not asked Lucy about the state of her vagina, I have been told mine is nice and tight, so it’s not like it is just losing liquid wherever it goes.

I headed over to WebMd which is my go to place for any medical questions.  The Internet is way too scary to go looking on just some random website for an answer.   I typed “urinating when coughing” as that sounds very technical and hit enter.

I got 49 results but many did not apply to me.  Many had to do with pregnancy, with being sick, a few had to do with men but I found a few that looked like they may contain some valuable information for me.

Results:

• Overactive Bladder – Discussion of how to diagnose
• Mixed Incontinence – Oohhh.. this sounds like the one!
• Tension-Free Vaginal Tape for Stress Incontinence
• How to Talk to your Doctor

What Can You Do:

the first thing is to determine what the problem is .  If it is something occasional, then it likely is something that you  have to live with..  But if it is more, then you should see your doctor.  Everything on the site suggests keeping a bladder journal, essentially, making notes whenever this happens as to what was going on, what the cause may have been, anything that you think may be relevant.  You can take this with you when you see the doctor.  From there, it depends.  The doctor may recommend testing or prescription medicine depending on the symptoms and the resolution.

Another recommendation he may make is to do kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic muscles which can help.  If you are not sure what muscles this involves, go to the washroom and try to stop the flow of urine halfway through.  Once you know the feeling, do this exercise daily for five minutes.  Do not practice while urinating at this point though!   The great thing about kegels is that you can do them anywhere.  At your desk, doing dishes, watching a boring movie.

Hopefully you will get results and not have issues with peeing while you cough.  And a nice side effect, you will be able to control those muscles which can be beneficial when you are with your lover.  Give him a little squeeze and see how he reacts!

Learn more about Kegel Exercises on WebMd

Texting and Dating

When it comes to dating, the stigma that used to be attached to online dating is

SMS: Text Messaging Gets Redesigned (Photo credit: pouwerkerk)

disappearing.  But online dating also leads to a variety of other methods of communication online.  Are these good or bad?  I will let you decide.

I find these days, I meet people online via email or the sites chat platform and if we connect, we move elsewhere.  There are several messengers out there or there is Skype.  Everyone has a preference and texting seems to be the more popular method of choice.

While there are definite advantages to texting with dating there are also disadvantages.

Availability

A benefit to texting is that it is instantaneous.  You can ask someone a question or make a comment and get a reply back immediately provided they have their phone.  But at the same time, we are used to this and we run into people who may not be as committed their phone and it can be frustrating waiting for a response.

Pavlov’s Dog

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I am in this experiment and I come running and drooling expecting a reward when my phone makes a noise.  Maybe it is a reward as I have something to look at and reply to.  But this can definitely take away from meeting and dating, especially if you are always looking at your phone while out.  I have gotten to the point where I put my phone in my purse and silent it.  That said, I might take a bit longer when I go to the washroom as I’m checking it (usually just checking in with friends to let them know I’m fine)

Spontaneous

If you are a person who is spontaneous, having a cell phone can add to it.  You can be in touch with someone and say, hey, whats up?  Wanna go for coffee?  and next thing you know, you’re having coffee.   I have done this several times.

Changes to Plans

A great benefit to phones is that if you are running late, or you need to make a change to plans, you can get in touch with the other person.  I have had times where I end up running late for whatever reason or I have to make a stop before I can meet up.  This is one of the good benefits of a phone.

Corsets

There is something about corsets that just turns me on.  My skin being tightly enclosed by the fabric.  My breasts being lifted and showcased.  My waist being cinched smaller by the satiny ribbon.  Wearing a sexy corset is a surefire way to make me feel sensual.

I have purchased several corsets over the years, but only three fit me properly.  Being a plus-sized woman means finding lingerie that is sexy is difficult.  Thanks to eBay, I can find brand-new-with-tags corsets that are as affordable as they are hot.

Corset (Photo credit: Björn Söderqvist)

There are many factors to consider when buying a corset, as there are many types of corsets available.  Enclosures, boning, material, and styles all vary.  Do you like the look of a laced corset? Maybe you want one with laces, but that also has a zipper.  Should the boning be plastic or metal?  Which suits your purpose better: overbust or underbust? So many decisions!  It can feel a little overwhelming to the first-time buyer.

Ebay has a guide available that gives a brief overview of the different shapes of corsets and explains which corset is best for various body types.

Underbust vs. Overbust

Just as it sounds.  An underbust corset goes under the bust, leaving the wearer’s breasts exposed. Overbust corsets cover the wearer’s breasts, pushing them against her body and producing cleavage.

Enclosures

Laces – The traditional style of corset, with laces to pull tighter.  Laces are most often in the back of the corset.

Hook & Eye –A metal hook and an eye (or “eyelet”) into which the hook fits.  Usually made of metal, this enclosure style is most frequently found in the front of the corset.

Zipper – This style of corset fastens with a zipper, which may be either on the sides or the front.

Combination – A combination of the above styles of enclosures.

Whatever style of corset that tickles your fancy, you can find it available online.  Want more information on corsets? Check out this site:  Delicious Boutique – Corset Construction.

playing dress up

Naughty Teacher’s Pet

I have always enjoyed dressing up.  There is something  about putting on makeup and doing my hair that can usually lift me out of a small funk.  But that is not exactly what I mean about enjoying dressing up.  I enjoy putting on a sexy or a slutty outfit and using it as an invitation for happy playtime with the hubby.  (Alright, I will admit, even just for myself from time to time).  There is just something about putting on a sexy outfit that makes me hot.

Rarely does an outfit contain items I purchased specifically for sexual play.  Oh, I own a few corsets, g-strings, and the like. However, most of my outfits are made up of articles I still wear out on a semi-regular basis, such as sexy heels, knee high boots, and thigh-high stockings.  There are some parts that I purchased with other purposes in mind that have since become a part of my sexy dress-up drawer, like the long gloves I originally bought for my wedding (I later decided to not wear them for the big day) and a white cotton blouse that is too tight for outside the bedroom (but perfect for dressing like a school girl or secretary).

The dressing up part is fun; however, it is just the beginning.  With the right outfit I can go from being a wife to being someone entirely different.  The outfit sets the mood for what is to come.  The only limitations are our imaginations.