3 Things to Discuss Before Getting Naked

Whether you are looking to date someone or just have a play partner, there are some things that you really should discuss before you start ripping clothing off.  They  may be awkward to discuss but it important to get them out there.  If you do not like their answer, or it doesn’t jive with you, you may want to reconsider if they are the right person to get down and dirty with.

morning .05
morning .05 (Photo credit: pipe.martínez)

Tested

When were they last tested for STDS?  Have they had partners since then?  Personally, I’ve never asked for proof of this from the doctor but I am sure some people have.  Even if you are using condoms, if you are engaging in any type of oral sex, this is relevant.  Unless you plan to use dental dams and other equipment to avoid direct contact.

Birth Control

Another important discussion.  If neither of you has any plans to have children with each other, or at this time, birth control is a must.  Never believe a guy who says he cannot have children (I know a lady whose guy told her this, guess what?  she got pregnant).  If he says he has a vasectomy, you may want to have a dr’s note before you agree to no condoms.  Regardless, you should use them for the first while due to disease. I am a firm advocate of the woman being on some form of birth control as well.  The form may be discussed as not all methods are as fool proof as others.

Pregnancy

What will happen if the female gets pregnant?  This may not be a first night discussion but if you are going to remove a type of birth control (ie condoms) and only rely on one or none, it is likely a good discussion to have.   Even if neither of you are looking to have children, accidents can happen and it doesn’t hurt to know the other person’s opinions before it happens.

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mystery spot

Prince and lady
Prince and lady (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Gräfenberg spot – more commonly known as the G-spot, is a pleasure zone located approximately 2-3 inches on the front wall inside a woman’s vagina. While there are some who believe it is just a myth, countless women disagree.

Depending on the positions used during sex, stimulating this area can be difficult, as the G-spot area needs direct stimulation. For example, the angle of penetration during the missionary position will rarely hit the spot (pun very much intended). Experimenting with different positions will help find the perfect way to achieve orgasm through G-spot stimulation.

Luckily, there are other ways to climax from G-spot stimulation. During foreplay, you or a lover may want to try two fingers pressed deeply into the area. Alternatively, there are many toys designed specifically for this task.

For some women, the type of orgasm experienced from G-spot stimulation is more intense than those achieved from clitoral stimulation. For others, the spot might not be as sensitive and therefore not as important part of their sexual play. Not sure which category you are in? Some self-exploration will tell you if your G-spot is highly sensitive. Lay back and enjoy the exploring! Let go of frustrations and relish the touch of your body.

Not sure how to find your G-spot?  Here’s a great article with an extensive step-by-step process.  It’s worth the read!

Unsolicited Penis Pictures

I really do not get why guys feel the need to send penis pictures to people who do not ask for them.  i can understand if you are chatting with them on a site that is mostly about sex and they send it in the course of conversation but too often I will meet a guy in a somewhat normal matter and we will move to texting and all of a sudden, I get a picture of his junk.  No warning, no asking if I want to see, it’s just there!

The Pimpin' Penis
The Pimpin’ Penis (Photo credit: cimorenegal)

Today for instance, I’m chatting with this guy, he decides to ask if I’m horny and all of a sudden, there is the picture.  We met on plenty of fish, not a sex site.   the conversation was all innocent and I get this picture and he said that he could not help it.  Last I knew, a smartphone is not able to send a picture via text all by itself, the owner has to tell it to send it.

Regardless, I gave him crap for it.  It’s not that I am necessarily against these types of pictures but I prefer to be asked if I want them or ask for them before i get sent them.  Maybe I am at a family event and there are little eyes around, maybe I am at the grocery store chatting with someone, or heaven forbid I am at work and my phone is somewhere that someone might see.

I have talked to a few of my guy friends and asked why guys do this.  Some of them don’t know , some said they have done it but only if they were asked, and others sheepishly admitted that they have sent without permission.

I think a lot has to do with guys and their self worth.   For some reason, they feel that if they do not have a big/thick/goodlooking penis, they are not any good and by sending a picture, they will hopefully get a positive response.   Does society penis shame  men the same way they shame women if they are larger than a size 6?

 

personal lubricant 101

There are many types of lubricant that can be used for sexual play. Many factors contribute to the need of using lubricants during sex. Some women, even though very aroused, may not produce enough natural wetness and therefore may need a little assistance from a bottle. If you are participating in any type of anal play lubricant is extremely important.

There are three main types of lubricant: water based, silicone based, and oil based. When searching for lubes, you might see some advertised as “anal lube”. These usually have a numbing agent added to lessen the pain often associated with anal intercourse.

Water based lubricants are safe to use with condoms. They are often less expensive and more easily found than other types of lubes. Unlike other lubricants, they have the added advantage of being easier to wash off the body – and less likely to stain the sheets! Water based lubes can be used with any type of toy material.

Personal lubricants
Personal lubricants (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Silicone based lubricants, unlike water based ones, are not absorbed into the skin. This means soap and water will be needed to wash off after playtime ends. They can be more expensive, but a less is needed. This type of lube is also safe to use with condoms, but avoid using with silicone toys. Want to have some playtime in the shower? Try this type of lube!

Oil based lubes, such as mineral oil, baby oil, and Vaseline, must be washed off with soap and water. You can only use oil based lubricants with polyurethane condoms. Also avoid using with toys and items made out of latex.

There are many styles of lubes available – including flavored, numbing, warming ones. Have fun experimenting with the varieties!

One note of caution: If you are trying to conceive, pay careful attention to the ingredients in the lubricant you are using. Some lubes may contain spermicides – which are very counterproductive to trying to get pregnant!