You Are Entitled To Your Opinion

I’ve been playing on adult sites (such as AdultFriendFinder) for well over a year now.  I have run into a wide variety of people, some good, some bad, and some just interesting.  They all have their own opinions which may or may not coincide with mine which is fine.  But this weekend, I met someone who had different ideas and made a lot of assumptions about m based on this.

Be My FWB (Photo credit: DanCentury)

First of all, I do not have a profile picture up, at least not a face picture or anything intimate.  I have a picture of my lakes soaking in a mineral pool.  You can put up whatever you want on these sites.  A lot of men have pictures of well, you can imagine.  And I’m sure there are a lot of women out there who have very similar pictures.  but I have also seen a lot of men who have pictures up that do not show anything that personal, maybe a chest and maybe even a photo showing their face.

We emailed a few times on the site and then decided to go to regular email.  He asked for a photo above the knee so I included the profile picture that I use.  I also responded to the email he sent me and made some comments, such as him stating that he was looking for a FWB but yet, his original email to me said that yes, he wanted a FWB but he wanted to start as friends.

He replied back that he expected a more intimate photo of me, that he didn’t want a friend, he just wanted a FWB and that if I couldn’t provide such a photo, then obviously I wasn’t going to be willing to have sex anytime soon.

I replied back that he sure made a lot of assumptions, which he is allowed and left it at that.  I didn’t get a reply nor did I expect one.

That’s okay though, if that is his opinion, that is fine, I likely would not have been impressed meeting him anyway.

Book: Angel (NSC Industries) by D H Sidebottom

Carter and Olivia meet each other at university and never leave each other’s side.  But when school ends, they have some tough decisions to make.  Olivia has accepted a job locally but Carter has not received an offer yet.  When he does, it is up in Edinburgh and he has to leave in a day.  Due to this, Olivia is not able to tell him her news.  He promises that they will stay in touch but she knows that they will not.  

Fast forward 20 years, Olivia is a single mom and working hard to make ends meet.  She accepts a new job at NSC Industries but her boss is a pervert.  But she needs the job and the money and tolerates it.  Thankfully, she has great coworkers who know what the boss is like and they are able to tolerate him as a group.

She comes in one day and finds Carter in with her boss.  He has just returned from America after six months and it turns out that he actually owns the company.  Olivia hadn’t had a chance to research the company before she got the job or she likely would have known this already and is thrown for a shock when she finds this out.

Carter invites her for lunch which she does not feel is a good idea but they go and they quickly lapse back into the way things were at school.

But will they be able to find happiness ever after or will everything be destroyed when Carter finds out all Olivia’s secrets?

My opinion:

It is nice to see a strong male character that is willing to put himself out there to get the woman he wants.  Carter is deep and you can see how much Olivia has affected him and how his life has been without her.

I’m not sure that Olivia would be quite as well adjusted as she is with everything that she has gone through.

Regardless, this book got my attention and I couldn’t put it down.  It was a good thing I was reading it o a Friday night as I ended up staying up until 3 am reading!

Buy this book:  Angel (NSC Industries)

Mood Music

There are some songs that, when heard, instantly affect the listener’s loins. Granted, the songs may vary from person to person; but some artists are known for their ability to make the listeners want to get it on, such as Barry White, with his deep, sensual voice.

Perhaps the song’s subject matter is what does the trick. Maybe it is the beat. Then there are the ones that are double shots of desire to the genitals. One that does it for me, due to both the lyrics and the tempo, is Nine Inch Nails Closer. Another is the Dave Matthews

Band’s song Crash into Me.  And I would be rather remiss if I didn’t mention Marvin Gaye’s classic Let’s Get it On.

What does it for you?  Is there a song that every time you hear it you want to do the horizontal mambo with your lover? How about your partner – does she have a song that is always sure to turn her on?

Book: Jack Who? (Silver Strings G Series) by Lisa Gillis

Marissa has just broken up with her fiancé, after catching him in bed with another girl.  Olivia feels that the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one so they head out to a rock festival.    While Olivia is able to get a backstage pass for herself, she cannot get one for Marissa, but that is no problem as she is able to get the both in with a sexy look at one of the roadies.    

Olivia quickly decides to stay with the roadie and hopefully meet some actual performers as promised.  But Marissa decides this scene is not for her.  As she heads to leave, she finds a lost puppy who obviously belongs to someone.  Finding a couple guys to ask about the puppy, they direct her to the bus that holds the dog’s owner inside.  Marissa quickly heads over there to return the puppy before she heads home.

After a quick misunderstanding about how Marissa has gotten there and her motives, Jack realizes that she is not there for any ulterior purpose.  The two seems to have a connection which causes them to make some decisions which will change their lives forever.  Can they both be happy with these decisions or will they be miserable after?

My opinion:

The book was a little confusing, I think the author may have gotten a bit ahead of herself in a few spots as I had to go back and re-read as I felt I had missed something.

I wonder about Marissa and how believable she is as even though her and Jack don’t have a relationship for a long time.  With his popularity and fame, she does not seem to have spent any time trying to find out anything about him through the Internet.

Note:  First book in a series;  there are no real sex scenes in this book.

Buy:  Jack Who?

Setting Your Limits

I always thought that limits were black and white, but I have learnt recently that they can be grey (aka soft limits).  That doesn’t mean that you have to change your limits, it just about thinking of them in a slightly different way.  I thought that certain types of play either happened or didn’t happen but didn’t consider that there are many different elements within each play type which is where conversation and discussion come into

Setting Limits (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

play.

Hard limit:

A hard limit is something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship.

Soft Limit:

A soft limit is something that a person hesitates about or places strict conditions on, but for which they will still give informed consent. An action could be prohibited except under specific circumstances or an area of discomfort that someone wishes to avoid. Soft limits can also be something that requires a cautious approach or while appealing, still generates an uncomfortable amount of fear.

(definitions courtesy of Wikipedia)

So if you are wondering what that means, here are a couple of examples to help you out.

• Hard Limit:  Anal play
• Soft Limit:  No penis in the anus but fingers and tongue can are allowable.

I had been told that my limits were too strict but then when it came down to actually talking about them and what I was and was not willing to accept, many of them became soft limits.  I was willing to engage in some elements of those items that were on the hard limits list but there were some elements that were still off limits.  In some ways, my list is likely longer now but those items on it are much more specific than they were.  It allows for easier satisfaction of both partners as well as being able to cross some fantasies off the list

– Sylvie

Book: Guilty Pleasures by Niyah Moore

We are slowly introduced to the six main characters in this book:   

Hassan Walker, husband to Roxi, who has been visiting the gentleman’s club called “Sugar Hill” for the past year.  He has a favorite, Cinnamon, who he comes to see every week and who he fantasies about but knows that it can go no further.

Roxi Walker, wife to Hassan, who is also Dawn’s assistant and who is having a secret affair.  But when Hassan finds out, her offers her an ultimatum:  him or her lover.

Dawn, Roxi’s boss, who is having an affair with a married business man.  It means nothing to her except for sex as she wants to be with someone else.

Cinnamon, Hassan’s favorite dancer, but one night, things go too far between her and Hassan.   What will this mean for their time at Sugar Hill and their relationship?

Victoria, Dawn’s assistance, who feels that she cannot compete with the other women she works with due to her weight.   She has always felt uncomfortable around them and when a man pays her some attention, she has a hard time believing in him.

Ivan, Hassan’s friend and basketball player, is playing the court and the ladies.  But when his eyes catch sight of Victoria, he is determined to have her.

My Opinion:

I will preface this review by saying I got to 56% of the book before I quit reading.

The reasons I quit reading are as follows:

Everyone seemed to be cheating and playing around with everyone else, regardless of marital or single status.  I was having trouble keeping track of who was doing who as they were moving around so much.

I felt like the story was not really developed.  The characters were jumping from bed to bed without a lot of story in between.

There was no type of indication of time and it would skip ahead days or weeks without a text break or any other indication that the time was changing.

The language was difficult to follow as there was a lot of slang from New Jersey/New York area that didn’t make any sense to me.

Take it Outside

I’m not sure about your area, but where I live we seem to have experienced about two days of spring before heading straight into summer.  As the temperature heats up outside, the hubby and I have been spending more time in the sun.  Tis the season!

There are some activities I wouldn’t mind taking outside, but, alas, we cannot. The lack of a fence and the closeness of our neighbors’ homes mean clothes must stay on when in our yard.  There is an added layer of sensuality when having sex outdoors.  There can also be a lot of nuisances that can make the experience less than fun.  Who likes feeling a rock or a stick jabbing them in back?  Or mosquitoes snacking on them?  I sure don’t!  So, like they say in Scouts – Be Prepared!

Taking a blanket to lie on during outdoor sex – or just stargazing – is a good place to start.  Keep in mind, though, that the ground might hide some sharpish objects, and grab a thicker blanket – if not two or three.  Once you decide to get frisky, you don’t want to ruin the mood with a stick attempting to get some action of its own! 

Some light is good, but not enough to call attention to the show.  A flashlight or two will suffice as you and your lover get comfortable.  Then turn off the lights and have fun to the natural light of the moon and stars.

About those pesky pests…well, you can just imagine how delicious bug spray tastes when nibbling on your lover’s skin. Yuck! I suggest investing in another type of bug deterrent, such as  an Off! Clip-On Starter Kit. (I haven’t tried it, so don’t know how well it works).

Have you had the pleasure of sex under the stars?  What tips do you have for others who are considering it?