This is an installment of a series of posts on BDSM. The first post can be found here.
This week is about submission. The opposite of a Dom, a submissive, or sub, gives control over to another. This control may or may not be sexual in nature.
As to be expected, there are a variety of Dom/sub relationships. For example, a sub may take on a role of a pet, of a slave, of a student, or even of a child, with the Dom acting in the contrasting role. While the sub is passive in the relationship, he or she does have some control. Before the relationship or the scene begins, the parties involved should agree on experiences ahead of them. For some, this might include a formal contract.
A sub does have rights, just as any person participating in sexual play has rights. A great post, called A submissive’s Bill of Rights can be found here. While these are not necessarily legal rights, they are nonetheless important. And of course, those rights include saying NO! or using a safe word if the play becomes too intense.
Looking for credible sources for additional information?
- Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Hot Sex by Tymber Dalton (see my review here)
- A Submissive’s Initiative – an educational BDSM community
- The Loving Dom – The Repository – The back catalogue of educational notes relating to alternative relationships + interesting threads from The Loving Dom – The Help Page.
Next week I will continue to delve into the various aspects of BDSM. As always, remember: Safe Play is Great Play!
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