This is an installment of a series of posts on BDSM. The first post can be found here.
This week is about Dominance. A set of behaviors or rituals which involve the acceptance of control over another, the Dominant controls the submissive in a variety of ways that may or may not be sexual in nature. In essence, Dominance is a type of psychological play that may include physical actions.
What is a Dom or Domme? Dom is most often used for male Dominants and Domme for female. This is not always the case, however, as some may choose to use Dom for either gender. For the purpose of this post, I will use Dom to mean any person who is a Dominant in the scene or relationship.
Some only want to be a Dom in the bedroom, whereas others take the relationship further and into other aspects of their lives in non-sexual ways, such as domestic servitude. There may be a contract between the consenting parties, outlining what is expected in the Dom/sub relationship. Though they may have the majority of the power Doms must work with their subs to ensure fulfilling relationship for all involved.
When many think of BDSM, they may have a mental image of a Dom, dressed in black latex and carrying a riding crop, ready to dominate someone in exchange for money. While there are many professionals available for hire, the truth is many Doms look “normal”. Anyone, regardless of personality or livelihood, may be inclined to participate in a Dom/sub relationship. Their lives outside of the relationships may be the opposite of their roles within it.
For more information on being a Dominant, check out The Dominant Guide.
Looking for credible sources for additional information?
- Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Hot Sex by Tymber Dalton (see my review here)
- A Submissive’s Initiative – an educational BDSM community
- The Loving Dom – The Repository – The back catalogue of educational notes relating to alternative relationships + interesting threads from The Loving Dom – The Help Page.
Next week I will continue to delve into the various aspects of BDSM. As always, remember: Safe Play is Great Play!