This is an installment of a series of posts on BDSM. The first post can be found here.
This week is about discipline. As I mentioned previously, discipline is considered psychological restraining, often by the use of punishments or rules. Spanking and humiliation are examples. Discipline is frequently used in other aspects of BDSM, especially in Dominant/submissive (D/s) situations.
When utilizing physical discipline on a partner, it is important to do so in a safe manner. For instance, spanking certain areas of the body – especially with an item such as a paddle – may cause severe injury, or even death, if done with too much force.
Always be prepared to use a safeword. Regardless of the type of BDSM play you are engaging, this is important.
Alex in Spankland has a great post about spanking. While written for newbies, it is a good read for all interested parties, regardless of your level of experience.
All that is needed for spanking play is a willing hand and a willing ass, but it can be more enjoyable for all when using an item such as those on the list below.
- Leather & Glass Riding Crop – This is a two-in-one kind of toy. The glass handle is perfect for insertion.
- X-PLAY Large Black Paddle – A sturdy paddle that will have you saying, “Thank you, sir. May I have another?”
- Studded Paddle – A paddle with a bite, one side has metal studs, while the other is smooth.
- Fetish Fantasy Bad Teacher Ruler – If you and your playmate like to engage in teacher/student scenes, this is the perfect prop for you!
- Fetish Fantasy Ltd Feather Crop – Have a little slap and tickle fun! One end is a crop and the other a feather, opening the play to all kinds of sensations.
- Leather Corset Flog-HER in Black – This is a heavy duty flogger, perfect for couples who are getting more serious about their discipline play.
Humiliation in this regard may best be described as enjoyable embarrassment. The activities involved are varied. It might be as simple as dirty talk, calling your partner a “slut” or a “little bitch”; or it might be more elaborate, such as leading her around by a leash or making him talk in a falsetto voice and dressing him in women’s clothing.
Many may wonder why in the world someone would find sexual pleasure in being humiliated. That’s a great question. It is also one that is expertly answered by Franklin on his blog.
Looking for credible sources for additional information?
- Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Hot Sex by Tymber Dalton (see my review here)
- A Submissive’s Initiative – an educational BDSM community
- The Loving Dom – The Repository – The back catalogue of educational notes relating to alternative relationships + interesting threads from The Loving Dom – The Help Page.
Next week I will continue to delve into the various aspects of BDSM. As always, remember: Safe Play is Great Play!