Writing is personal. This is especially true when writing fiction. The writer takes a part of herself and adds it to her stories. This isn’t to say a writer has experienced everything her characters do. While this seems like common sense, many may not feel that way – especially when it comes to writers of erotica fiction.
Experience is a very helpful tool. Imagination is even more so. Some of my story ideas come from my personal experiences; more of them come from my very active imagination. The combination of the two can make a scene believable. Even if a story is set in a fantasy world or features supernatural beings, there must be elements of reality. Those elements help keep a reader engrossed in the tale.
Back to writing erotica.
While it may be true that some erotica writers have experienced all of the wicked acts they put to paper, for many it is pure fantasy. Just because an author writes about forced-to-comply situations, doesn’t mean that she has been part of one. Perhaps she writes about mfm ménage (male-female-male threesome relationship). This doesn’t mean that she wants to experience it herself, just as the reader who enjoys that type of erotica may not want to participate in that sort of relationship.
Before I started writing erotica, I was reading erotica. I am a reader and researcher by nature (I am a librarian). While reading erotica and romance stories, I realized that I could write stories of my own. I have the imagination. I have the writing skills. So I put them to use. I don’t claim to be the greatest writer ever known, but I don’t think I’m too shabby. The more I write, the better I will become.
Writing erotica has a personal benefit too. Just ask the hubby! He gets to read my stories while I am working on them. He also gets to enjoy the effects writing sex scenes have on me. So, it is safe to say that writing erotica is good for our relationship!