What we wear under there

It is amazing what a difference having a new bra – one that actually fits you correctly – can make on your state of bliss. It isn’t something I have thought about often, but recently I realized just how awesome the feeling is.

Several of my bras had to be tossed. The underwire broke on a couple. The dog chewed the plastic bit that holds the straps on another. A few more were just stretched too much to keep wearing. I needed to go bra shopping STAT. Luckily a department store in my area was having a huge sale – including on bras. I didn’t know this when I walked in, but I was glad of it by the time I walked out!1422730_694399137238299_1947854978_n

The sales girl fitted me. It had been some time since I had last been fitted for a bra. I had an idea of what size I thought I was. Note that I said “thought”. It ends up my idea was quite a bit off on both circumference and cup size. Once we knew what sizes were needed, I was left – topless – in the dressing room while she pulled a variety of bras for me to try on. Since she was the only one working in the department that day, this took some time. The time I waited was well worth it, though. In the end, I walked out of the store with six new bras at a fraction of their original prices.

Having a bra that fits adds confidence and self-esteem – two feelings that help make sex more enjoyable (see what I did there…I brought it to sex). Confidence is a big turn on for most people – both the one exhibiting it and the ones watching her act with it. Plus, when the girls are boosted into the right area, you just might want to show off your new underthings to your partner. “Look at this, babe. My tits are looking great!!”

So, if it’s been some time since you last went bra shopping, I highly recommend it. It might be just the boost you’ve been searching for!

Re-using Toys, Ew! Or can you?

I know what your first thought is, I know where that toy has been and I am not using my  new partner’s previous sex toys.  But, hear me out.  There are some toys that it is safe to “recycle” (if you want to call it that).  This article assumes that these toys were used on the prior partner, not just on your new playmate.

Jelly Toys

I’m going to tell you right off the bat, these likely should be tossed.  Jelly is porous and you have no clue what CE-0641-10-2_2477_1 could be hanging out in that toy that could make you sick.    These toys typically are cheaper to start with so it should not hit the pocket book too horribly hard when it hits the garbage can.  If you really cannot bring yourself to toss this toy for whatever reason, give it a good scrub.  I would recommend searching the Net for how to clean it.  Using a condom on it is a good idea as well!


Next up, silicone.  Silicone toys tend to be a bit on the pricier side so it is harder to decide to part with these.  TT-001908_20727_2Thankfully, you do not have to.  You should give them a good wash.   You can run these toys through your dishwasher if you want, but i recommend that you take them out before your mom comes over or she may get a bit of a shock when she decides that your kitchen needs to be tidied.  If you don’t want to run them through the wash, consider boiling them for three to five minutes.  Learn more about the care and cleaning of silicone.


Sleek and beautiful glass.   Again, not a cheap toy, but again, easy to clean.  Glass is non-porous just like silicone Pink Iciclesso you can wash it with ease.  Run it through the dishwasher or boil it.

Ultimately, it is up to you and your comfort level if you are going to use a toy that was used with someone else.  Clean with an anti-bacterial cleaner at a minimum, use a condom and inspect the toy.  While you can easily clean silicone and glass, if you find a crack or chip, it is time to move on.

Always Play Safe!

When it comes to being online, or in person, it’s always important to be safe and take precautions.  What you are up to and what you are doing are going to determine what you  need to do but there are a few things that you should always consider.

Henry Kirke Brown George Washington statue,Uni...
Henry Kirke Brown George Washington statue,Union Square in New York. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Meet Somewhere Public

A coffee shop, a restaurant, a park, whatever works.  You should always meet somewhere that is public which will prevent the other person from doing something crazy (if things go that way).

Take Your Own Transportation

Never let the other person pick you up or drive you around.   If you are driving home after and you feel like you are being followed, do not go home, go somewhere public or a police station if you are scared.

Listen to Your Gut

If you  meet someone, or they suggest something that you are not comfortable with them, do not be afraid to say no.  Worst comes to worse, they decide that they do not want anything to do with you, and really, do you want to be with someone like that?

Do’s and Don’ts

Are there certain things that you refuse to do or that you love to do?  Let your partner know.  It’s always best to tell them before you hook up so that you can avoid any discomfort and allow you to see if the two of you are compatible.


If this is someone that you are potentially going to be getting intimate with, discuss birth control.  Many men do not like condoms but they are willing to use them if it is the difference between sex or not.  Do not let a partner guilt you into not using them as they enjoy the sensations without or they perform better without.  If things go well, there is lots of time for that down the road.

No matter, is a good idea to let someone know where you are going to be and when you expect to be home.  They don’t need 100% specifics but the more they know, the better, just in case.  There has been a time or two that I have sent a friend the information about where I am going, who I am meeting, and their contact information.  You just never know (but hope you never need to use the information provided!)


Weird Sex Laws in the United States

1. Anniston, Alabama: If a woman loses a game of pool, it is illegal for her to settle her tab with sex.

This type of legs up missionary, called "...
This type of legs up missionary, called “the anvil”, allows the deepest possible penetration. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth.

3. Cottonwood, Arizona: Couples having sex in a vehicle with flat wheels will be fined. The fine will be doubled if the sex occurs in the backseat.Weird Sex Laws in the United

4. Newcastle, Wyoming: Couples are banned from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer.

5. Tremonton, Utah: No woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper. Um… discrimination, anyone?

6. Oblong, Illinois: It’s punishable by law to have sex while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

7. Bozeman, Montana: All sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown is illegal — if they’re nude.

8. Connorsville, Wisconsin: It’s against the law for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

9. Utah: Sex with an animal — unless performed for profit — is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.

10. Oxford, Ohio: It’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

11. Minnesota: It is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish

* no longer have the source for these, sorry.

The Proposal (A Perfect Match Series) by Lily Zante

Nadine is hosting her sister’s bachelorette party at her home.  When the male strippers show up, she sneaks into the living room to see what is going on.  But when the men take their clothes off and the oil comes out, she heads back into the kitchen.  When Ethan heads into the kitchen to cool off a bit, him and Nadine chat while she invites him to have a snack.   The Proposal

Shortly after, Nadine finds out that there is a work retreat coming up and she needs to bring a significant other with her.  But the problem is, she doesn’t have one.  But with a potential promotion on the line, she needs to find someone.  While she has a guy she normally brings to these types of events, she knows that he will not work in this occasion.  She calls the agency that she hired Ethan through to see if she can hire him for the weekend.

Before the retreat, Ethan and Nadine get together to work out all the details.  But when they actually arrive at the hotel, and realize that they need to act like they are in love, and that they have to share a hotel room, they are not sure if this will really work.  Can they make Nadine’s coworkers believe that they are truly a couple and in love?  Will Nadine end up with the promotion she wants?

My opinion:

I enjoyed this book and the concept.  It’s interesting to see how Ethan and Nadine interact and how she brings forward her conceptions of what she thinks Ethan’s job truly means.

Purchase “The Proposal” by Lily Zante

Are you Kinky? Yes!

First of all, to answer this, we really need to look at what kinky means.  But when I try to search it on the Net, I get all sorts of answers as to what sexually kinky means.  Maybe we need to define vanilla first and go from

Love cuffs
Love cuffs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


A description of what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual practice. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve elements such as, BDSM, kink, or fetish activities. Usually defined as boring, plain sex. But, a vanilla lover would regard it as making-love, passionate sex.. – urbandictionary.com

I don’t know a heck of a lot of people whose entire sex life would fit into that definition.  Many of the people I know have brought some level of kink into their home and bedroom.  Whether it is a set of fuzzy cuffs or using a tie for a bit of bondage, I would imagine that many have tried something like that.  Kinky may include the use of toys in the bedroom depending on your own personal definition.

If you are someone who sees themselves in the vanilla definition but want to spice things up, the above items might be a good start.  You can buy a set of cuffs without too much embarrassment and if you do not have a tie in the house, chances are you have something else within your home that will work instead.  Use your imagine – pantyhose, a string, bungee cords – just be careful that nothing will pull too tight and harm your partner.  And you are not limited to using these things on the female in the relationship, there are many men that enjoy the use of these things on them.

A few things you can try:

  • Handcuffs – Cuff the wrists, cuff the ankles, cuff a wrist to a bedpost or other object, cuff above the head
  • Tie – Same as cuffs but more flexible, blindfold, use to tease your partners body
  • Feather – Tease over your partners body, tickle

Two Strikes and You’re Out!

I know in baseball it takes 3 strikes before you are out, but well, we aren’t talking baseball.

Finally, after 10 innings and almost 3 hours o...
Finally, after 10 innings and almost 3 hours of play, Texas booked a win over Penn State. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For some reason, I seem to run into these guys who I meet up with once or maybe twice, and then they disappear.  A few months, or even a year later, I run into them again.  They express their interest, I am way too nice and agree to meet up again, and then the pattern continues.  After this happens the second time, I am done with them, no matter what their reason, er, excuse may be.  You would think after this happened the first time or two in general I would learn my lesson but I am way too nice of a person.

What I don’t get is the ease at which a person can keep in touch.  With the majority of people having access to a smartphone as well as email, there is no reason that a quick little message can’t be sent.  Heck, I have even discussed this with some of these people that ultimately disappear and they agree that there is no reason why a person cannot send a message.  Yet, a message does not appear.

I understand that for some, this is the route they take when they decide that there is no interest.   Instead of doing the polite thing and sending a message that they changed their mind/life is too busy/whatever the reason is, they just ignore you.  I get it, I may be guilty of doing it once or twice and I have been called out on it too.

But really, I am a big girl, if you aren’t interested, just tell me.  I’m not going to go all stalker on you and contact you every half hour to try and get you to change your mind.  I will move on, there are many other fish and maybe even men in the sea.

3 Things to Discuss Before Getting Naked

Whether you are looking to date someone or just have a play partner, there are some things that you really should discuss before you start ripping clothing off.  They  may be awkward to discuss but it important to get them out there.  If you do not like their answer, or it doesn’t jive with you, you may want to reconsider if they are the right person to get down and dirty with.

morning .05
morning .05 (Photo credit: pipe.martínez)


When were they last tested for STDS?  Have they had partners since then?  Personally, I’ve never asked for proof of this from the doctor but I am sure some people have.  Even if you are using condoms, if you are engaging in any type of oral sex, this is relevant.  Unless you plan to use dental dams and other equipment to avoid direct contact.

Birth Control

Another important discussion.  If neither of you has any plans to have children with each other, or at this time, birth control is a must.  Never believe a guy who says he cannot have children (I know a lady whose guy told her this, guess what?  she got pregnant).  If he says he has a vasectomy, you may want to have a dr’s note before you agree to no condoms.  Regardless, you should use them for the first while due to disease. I am a firm advocate of the woman being on some form of birth control as well.  The form may be discussed as not all methods are as fool proof as others.


What will happen if the female gets pregnant?  This may not be a first night discussion but if you are going to remove a type of birth control (ie condoms) and only rely on one or none, it is likely a good discussion to have.   Even if neither of you are looking to have children, accidents can happen and it doesn’t hurt to know the other person’s opinions before it happens.

mystery spot

Prince and lady
Prince and lady (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Gräfenberg spot – more commonly known as the G-spot, is a pleasure zone located approximately 2-3 inches on the front wall inside a woman’s vagina. While there are some who believe it is just a myth, countless women disagree.

Depending on the positions used during sex, stimulating this area can be difficult, as the G-spot area needs direct stimulation. For example, the angle of penetration during the missionary position will rarely hit the spot (pun very much intended). Experimenting with different positions will help find the perfect way to achieve orgasm through G-spot stimulation.

Luckily, there are other ways to climax from G-spot stimulation. During foreplay, you or a lover may want to try two fingers pressed deeply into the area. Alternatively, there are many toys designed specifically for this task.

For some women, the type of orgasm experienced from G-spot stimulation is more intense than those achieved from clitoral stimulation. For others, the spot might not be as sensitive and therefore not as important part of their sexual play. Not sure which category you are in? Some self-exploration will tell you if your G-spot is highly sensitive. Lay back and enjoy the exploring! Let go of frustrations and relish the touch of your body.

Not sure how to find your G-spot?  Here’s a great article with an extensive step-by-step process.  It’s worth the read!

Unsolicited Penis Pictures

I really do not get why guys feel the need to send penis pictures to people who do not ask for them.  i can understand if you are chatting with them on a site that is mostly about sex and they send it in the course of conversation but too often I will meet a guy in a somewhat normal matter and we will move to texting and all of a sudden, I get a picture of his junk.  No warning, no asking if I want to see, it’s just there!

The Pimpin' Penis
The Pimpin’ Penis (Photo credit: cimorenegal)

Today for instance, I’m chatting with this guy, he decides to ask if I’m horny and all of a sudden, there is the picture.  We met on plenty of fish, not a sex site.   the conversation was all innocent and I get this picture and he said that he could not help it.  Last I knew, a smartphone is not able to send a picture via text all by itself, the owner has to tell it to send it.

Regardless, I gave him crap for it.  It’s not that I am necessarily against these types of pictures but I prefer to be asked if I want them or ask for them before i get sent them.  Maybe I am at a family event and there are little eyes around, maybe I am at the grocery store chatting with someone, or heaven forbid I am at work and my phone is somewhere that someone might see.

I have talked to a few of my guy friends and asked why guys do this.  Some of them don’t know , some said they have done it but only if they were asked, and others sheepishly admitted that they have sent without permission.

I think a lot has to do with guys and their self worth.   For some reason, they feel that if they do not have a big/thick/goodlooking penis, they are not any good and by sending a picture, they will hopefully get a positive response.   Does society penis shame  men the same way they shame women if they are larger than a size 6?